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I Just Want to be a Hedgehog

from A Rose From My Mother's Garden by Ruth Cooke

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about

My most requested song! Often known as “The Hedgehog Song” but not to be confused either with the Incredible String Band’s track “The Hedgehog’s Song”, nor indeed with “The Hedgehog Can Never be Buggered at All”, (more commonly known as The Hedgehog Song), which is one of Discworld’s most famous drinking songs! When I was nursing my dad, there was a hoarding in the local retail park advertising some energy drink or other. Its slogan was “hibernating is for hedgehogs!” There was a large blank space on the poster and I wanted to get up there with a spraycan and write “Lucky buggers!” I thought well what’s so wrong with hibernating? (The obvious answer is it doesn’t make profits for anyone of course). Instead, I wrote this song, which is my protest against the pernicious “sleep is for wimps and losers” culture which we seem to have developed. Sleep not only feels good, it wards off a host off modern ills such as sugar cravings, lowered immune system, poor anger control, depression, not to mention sheer human error! Googling “lack of sleep causes” brings up an impressive list including clumsiness, depression, obesity, headaches, cancer, high blood pressure, anxiety, dizziness and on and on. And deliberate sleep deprivation has been used for centuries as a form of torture ---sorry, enhanced interrogation technique-- and causes hallucination and psychosis. I refuse to call my afternoon naps “power naps” as I object to the implication that the only function of, or excuse for, sleep is to make us more productive!

lyrics

Lyrics

CHORUS
I just want to be a hedgehog,
Snooze away the winter in a nice leafy pile
I just want to be a hedgehog
Curl into a ball and escape for a while—
But everyone around me is so wizzy wizzy wizzy
All running round in a tizzy tizzy tizzy
All out glorifying busy busy busy;
I don’t think so!

1. Well, once I used to eat al fresco
Catch a little sun
And watch the birdies at their play
Now I’ve got to dine al desko
Cos the boss will say I’m slacking
If I spend the time away.
Though my mind is going crazy crazy crazy
Can’t do my work because I’m hazy hazy hazy
If I take a break he’ll say I’m lazy lazy lazy.
I don’t think so!

(CHORUS)

2. Cos now you’ve got to be a striver
It really isn’t done to be content or take a rest
Otherwise you are a skyver
And why are you not battling
To be up there with the best?
I wouldn’t even dignify it with the name of ratrace
Round in a hamster wheel to end up at the same
place
Just die early if you carry on at that pace
And I don’t think so!

(CHORUS)

3. So! Add some caffeine to your tiredness;
That’ll improve your judgement
And make everything just great!
Try some coke for added wiredness!
That’ll help you cope
With what they’re piling on your plate!
Headless chickens going manic manic manic
All running round in a panic panic panic
But if tiredness was a drug…..
It’s so dangerous they’d ban it ban it ban it.
(spoken) But can you really see that?
I don’t think so!

And! (CHORUS)

credits

from A Rose From My Mother's Garden, released October 12, 2019
Words and tune Ruth Cooke

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about

Ruth Cooke UK

Wbsite: www.ruthcooke.com
Ruth has been writing and performing songs for many years now but has mostly been too busy living to record anything!
She is mostly to be found at folk clubs and festivals or at small gatherings and round campfires - although she wouldn’t say no to a small stadium!
She loves singarounds wherever they may be and is a regular floor singer at Lewes Saturday Folk Club.
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